 As you sit relaxing, you gaze down by your feet
and see him lying there. Your best friend, lifelong companion,
protector. He seems to be asleep, but you know he's ever-vigilant,
always on guard for any harm that might befall his beloved master.
You know that he'd sacrifice his life to save yours without a
moment's hesitation. With him at your side, you feel safe from
anything. Suddenly, he opens his eyes and lifts his head. His keen senses have picked up on something too subtle for your pathetic human senses to detect. You wonder what it can be that has startled him. Is it somebody at the door? Another dog in the front yard? What does he hear? He springs to his feet, ready to do battle against whatever threat lurks beyond the confines of your cozy family room. With a sense of purpose, he bolts into the next room, leaving you still wondering what it is that has woken him from a sound sleep and evoked his killer instinct. All at once, it becomes clear to you. The way he sprang to his feet, the way he couldn't leave the room fast enough, it all makes sense now. As the green cloud permeates the house, peeling the paint from every wall it contacts, you realize it's not what he's running after, it's what he's running away from. As you gasp for air and open the window, you try to fathom how such a repulsive odor can come from such an adorable animal. Welcome to the unspeakable horror of DogFarts! |
